Ink, Unforgotten
by SomethingGoodSomethingGreat
Summary: Quinn's dealing with her feelings after Beth is born and given away. As of right now it is a oneshot.  Rated T for language.


Quinn knew she shouldn't regret her choice, but she did. It shouldn't even bother her anymore. She gets to live the life the way her parents had planned for her and _she_ gets a chance at a life she could never provide. She was back in tip-top shape because her mother insisted that a fit body would make everyone forget of the little misstep in Quinn's life. Quinn couldn't even fathom where her mother got off calling her a misstep. But things change.

She shouldn't have wanted to keep her, she's only 16 for fucks sake, but she did. She did carry the baby for almost nine months. It is impossible not to form some sort of attachment to her. She felt every kick, every shift, every push on her bladder, every spastic movement, even the not moving- she felt that too. It was so incredible, the thought that she had created life and she had a little one growing inside of her. Now every time she goes to rest her hands on her stomach they fall into her lap. The fact that this makes her sad scares her a little bit. Quinn Fabray; head Cheerio, HBIC, used to be president of Celibacy Club, kicked out of her house and disowned by her parents at 16, and asked to move back in, sans her father who had been kicked out after an affair. Was it even right to feel scared? Was she allowed to?

The birth had put her life into perspective, but all it gave her were more questions.

The blonde misses her, her baby; baby Beth. She misses the comfort of knowing there will always be one person there for her, even if that little person didn't know that she is the only thing that Quinn was living for at that moment. There was a reassuring constant in the baby being there for her for the nine months. Quinn liked the feeling of being needed, being depended on. She, though she'd never admit it, liked taking care of someone and being able to show the real her. Few people ever witnessed Quinn's softer side. And Quinn was oblivious to those who had. She had been to wrapped up in a moment with the baby. Puck, Finn, and Mercedes were the ones to actually get to see this side of Quinn. And they didn't know what to do with this side of her. This foreign alien side of her that was polite, courteous, caring, maternal, loyal, and the one you want at your side during hard times.

As much as Quinn had bitched to Finn in school, they still cared for each other deeply and this was an experience they both gained from. There were moments where Finn was about barge into Quinn's room, but he'd here soft muttering through and usually an occasional sniff. Finn would just back away from the door and come back later. There were moments when he was scared and he'd break down and Quinn would just bring him to her and comfort him as he cried. Mercedes, after Quinn moved in with her after moving out of Puck's, realized that the attitude that Quinn put up at school was just an act. Quinn was courteous towards the family and helped them whenever she could. Mercedes noticed that the blonde often retreated to her temporary room. She too, heard the muttering and the crying but with the addition of singing. Quinn was always there for Mercedes after school to talk out issues. She knew when to just listen and let her friend vent and she knew when her input and opinion was wanted. Puck, the baby's dad, had seen this side of Quinn the most. He and Quinn shared a room because there weren't enough rooms. Quinn and Puck, or Noah to her, had reached an understanding that they were just friends, though they both knew they were meant so much more than that to each other, and would be there for each other. Noah's heart broke when he held Quinn as she'd cry herself to sleep. Or his heart would swell with joy hearing Quinn talking to their baby. He would join Quinn in singing to the baby and they shared this connection of overwhelming love towards each other and towards the baby. Quinn knew that Puck wouldn't change his ways and was there for him if he came home drunk or if he got hurt in a fight or from a girl (though she was sworn to secrecy). She'd help him feel better whether it was playing video games or helping clean himself up.

Beth had changed so much for Quinn. Quinn dropped the attitude, got a job, quit the Cheerios - much to Coach Sylvester's dismay - and started focusing on her, this year was about her and her alone. She could rejoin senior year if she really wanted to continue cheering. She needed to find herself and figure out who she was. Quinn was walking home since her mother had turned to drinks and her dad had taken her car away when he found out about the pregnancy– the Fabray's apparently sold it. She couldn't take the bus because she lived closer than a mile to the school. She really started looking around and living in the moment. Quinn realized she needed a new approach to life, her upbringing was an unhealthy way to go about life. She realized it could take years to transform her beliefs and initial reactions to certain situations, no matter how much she wanted to. Quinn didn't consider her pregnancy her rebellious phase, hell she'd never had one and probably never would.

Quinn stopped walking, looking at Lima, Ohio through a brand new lense. Quinn had been working since she'd moved back home, not wanting to depend on her mother for more than essentials, and had a decent amount of money stored away. Not a lot, but definitely some. Beth had caused her to realize how terrible she was to others and she was working everyday not to explode at people for things that made her feel insecure. It was a process, but it was improving. No one seemed to notice her now. She wasn't pregnant and she wasn't the star of Glee club. Mercedes had her bromance with Kurt, Santana and Brittany had their own thing going on that was unique to them, Artie and Puck had their… whatever it was, Tina and Mike were still going strong, Rachel and Finn were slowly becoming closer, Sam and his family had their own issues that Quinn was helping with, and she was just there. Sam acknowledged her and thanked her, but didn't get much further than that and Quinn held nothing against him.

She continued walking and noticed a tattoo parlor. She walked in a blank canvas and walked out, an hour later with ink. Nothing drastic, but it gave her a way to never do what she was worried about doing: forget about Beth. She got: '_**6 - 8 -2 - 2010: Beth**_' tattooed with white ink just below her left breast on her ribcage. It wasn't the same as her being with her everyday in the swell of her stomach but it was closer than before, which was nothing at all, and it gave Quinn a sense of much needed closure and a newfound strength. This was by no means the point where she was suddenly better– no more postpartum depression that no one even knew existed. She still delt with the depression but it was a new beginning and helped to give her the strength to try to make her life what she wanted it to be.

_For Beth_, she thought exiting the tattoo parlor.


End file.
